I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So much Jack, so little girl.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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