I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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