is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
