TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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