I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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