party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
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