I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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