i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
