I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize