You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
