Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
