it was like his penis was on wheels.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
