yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
