dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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