Umm I'm too high to move.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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