he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
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New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
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putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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