So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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