thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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