Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
