when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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