Kiss
Puke
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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