he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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