fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize