We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
