Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need a burrito and a hug.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
