Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
