you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
