The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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