Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
