Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
