week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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