He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize