I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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