We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
