At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I can't turn off my feet"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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