my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
