i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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