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I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize