I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
