Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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