Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
You can't special order awesome
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
