he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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