So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
