I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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