idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
