She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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