she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
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I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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