i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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