You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
