I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
