is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
