I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize