i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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