Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
What drink are we having for lunch?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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