I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
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i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
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It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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