i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
