i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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