I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
